Archive for May, 2006
My desire….
Tuesday, May 16th, 2006It hurts to think I’ll never watch you be a husband and a father. It hurts that you’ll never be Uncle Zack. It all hurts. It hurts that you won’t physically be in my future. It hurts. And as much as I want the hurt to go away, I don’t want it to go away. Will I one day become numb to your memory? Will there be a day when thoughts of you won’t bring a tear to my eye? I never want that to happen. NEVER! I always want to long for you. I always want to hurt for you. I always want to cry for you. I always want to laugh at the fights we used to have. I always want to laugh at the way you said “sweet” whenever you were real excited. I always want to long for you. It is the desire of my heart. I don’t want to wake up one day and not think of you. I don’t ever want to forget who you were. But even though I have those fears, I know in my heart that God will never let me lose my longing for you.
That is something I wrote in my journal. I write to Zack. I tell him whatever I would tell him if he was still alive, and more. I miss him. I long for him. I love him. God has been my Sustainer, He has held me strong under His wing, He has kept me from falling. I thank God everyday for being my stronghold and salvation. I love HIM. (Written by Ginner)
